Life since we last met

Well, I have been beyond busy. My conversion is nearly finished. I just need to move into the surrounding area around the shul, set up home. Oh, I am going to have to find another part time job, since I will have to give hours up at the library now that I can no longer work saturdays. Oh, well, may I find something good. Perhaps I will be a tutor and do something with the education I am getting. In addition to that, I am getting crafts together for a craft faire in two weeks. May I make some extra money. I could use a little extra cash. Oh, and getting everything finished would be great too.

School has kept my time tied up too. I am holding my own despite my family and depression. Somehow I am at least keeping a decent B average in each of my classes. I doubt I am going to get anything better than a B in my math course. I get so tripped up. I don't have the patience to deal with numbers. Though I have always wanted to be an elementary teacher, probably 2nd or 3rd grade, I might think about being an English or History teacher. It is a possibility. I do still want to get my Library Science degree by that is years and years away.

Though I could graduate with my associates by the end of the summer, I am thinking I might stay at LCCC to grab extra credits towards my BA. I might be there another half year and go for a winter graduation. That would work for me.

I have been to Faerie Con and PA Ren Faire. I have yet to speak on either of these and deserve their own entry, so hopefully I will get around to that soon. Perhaps I shall post some pictures or maybe even a video.

This too probably deserves its own post. But, yesterday marked my second year of freedom. It has been two years filled with pain, sorrow, strife, grief, joy, happiness, light and darkness, tears, laughter, depression and so much more. I am nothing more than a faceted ball trying to figure out what I should feel and when. Two years. For as much as I am found, I am still journeying lost. I found truth, latched onto it for dear life. My future lies within that truth. My happiness has always been there. It is through truth that I has any happiness in years of death that I survived. I know this probably does not make much sense given the vagueness of my statements. For this I am sorry.

I should be proud for making it on my own. I should be happy. Yet, I am empty. I feel lost. I hurt and don't know why. I still can't escape from the painful light that chooses to sear me to a soft darkness glowing with the softly colored lights of happy memories. *sigh* perhaps one day.